Is your 5 year old not sleeping? Are they suddenly having bedtime problems, struggling to fall asleep, or waking through the night? You’re not alone. Sleep issues in school age children are common and frustrating, often affecting the whole family. Whether it’s trouble falling asleep, night terrors, or simply refusing to go to bed, many parents deal with this challenge.
The good news? Most children can return to good quality sleep with the right support. Let’s explore why your child might not be sleeping and how to create a calming bedtime routine to help them stay asleep.
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Understanding Your Child’s Sleep Needs
Knowing how much sleep a child needs is key. At five, most children need around 10–13 hours of nighttime sleep. Without adequate sleep, you may notice your child become increasingly sleep deprived. This can affect their general behaviour and in turn, their ability to learn, and their emotions.
It’s well documented that not getting enough sleep in childhood can lead to poor sleep habits in adulthood and long-term issues. Sleep deprivation in young children is a growing public health concern, linked to mood swings, attention problems, and even weakened immunity.
Why Is My 5 Year Old Not Sleeping?
1. Bedtime Routine Battles and Stalling Tactics
Bedtime battles often begin when a child refuses to follow instructions, delays going to bed, or keeps calling out. Many children at this age test boundaries and enjoy the control that comes with negotiating bedtime. At five years old, children are testing boundaries and asserting independence. It’s common to face situations where your child refuses to go to bed, asking for one more story, drink, or cuddle. This often shows up at bedtime as: Asking for one more story, drink, or cuddle, getting out of bed multiple times or simple protesting that they’re just not tired!
What You Can Do: A consistent bedtime routine is essential. It serves as a cue to let the body know its time to start to wind down. A visual routine can reduce anxiety and stop the bedtime battles before they begin.
Try our bedtime flashcards to give your child a clear idea of what to expect every night. They can then follow the steps and it helps to reduce delay tactics. Especially at 5 years old, encouraging independence can help ‘get them on side!’. Bedtime flashcards can be a great way to reinforce expectations, your child can see each step of their routine laid out visually. This makes bedtime feel structured rather than a negotiation. They’re probably used to visual timetables at school or preschool too.
A consistent routine teaches bedtime habits that signal to your child’s body that it’s time to sleep.
2. Separation Anxiety and Fear of Falling Asleep Alone
Even older children may experience separation anxiety. It may especially be noticeable after school holidays or after periods of ill health. If your child refuses to fall asleep without you, or needs you to stay nearby, it’s fine for a night or two…but it may become a longer-term requirement which in turn can create dependency that interrupts their sleep.
What You Can Do:
- Use a pop outs or gradual withdrawal approach to reassure them you’re there but also helps reduce the dependency.
- Make the child’s room feel safe and calm.
- A red-toned night light may help without affecting melatonin.
- Try my Bedtime Pass Kit – it’s a great tool to reduce night-time visits and promote sleep independence. Great for a 5 year old not sleeping! Try It: My Bedtime Pass Kit includes a Canva template and video guidance so you can easily implement this with your child. Get yours here.
Many children experience fear of the dark, bad dreams, or sleep terrors. If your child complains of scary thoughts or resists going to bed, these tools can help promote relaxation. For more on nighttime fears read this blog post.
My favourite book is the Invisible String. It’s great for separation anxiety in this age group, talking about how we’re all connected even when we can’t see each other.
3. Night Wakings, Night Terrors & Early Rising
Does your child wake up frequently or start the day before 6am? These are common problems and can all affect your child’s sleep schedule and cause fragmented nighttime sleep.
If you have a 5 year old not sleeping then lets look at sleep associations. They are the habits or routines that your child connects with falling asleep. Common sleep associations for younger children include being rocked or fed to sleep. Older children can require having a parent present in the room, their bed or a particular comfort object (my sleep association is my pillow!). To address these associations, it’s crucial to establish a consistent bedtime routine that promotes independent sleep skills. You can use methods like gradual withdrawal, the kissing game or pop-outs to help.
Looking for screen-free wind-down ideas? My Bedtime Wind-Down Book for Kids is perfect for a 5 year old not sleeping! It is packed with calming breathing games, gentle yoga, mindful colouring and affirmations – the perfect bedtime toolkit to help children aged 3–8 relax, reconnect, and drift off more easily.
By fostering these independent sleep habits, you can help your child learn to fall asleep on their own. If you need help with age-appropriate and gentle methods to help your 3 year old not sleeping due to them not being able to fall asleep independently then please get in touch. I can create a personalised plan for you.
What You Can Do:
- Offer comfort but avoid reinforcing the wake-up habit.
- Encourage toilet independence to reduce full wakings.
- Keep the lights dim and the room cool.
Using a reward system, such as the Bedtime Pass, helps encourage your child to self-settle.
Early rising? It might be a sign their sleep needs are already met. if you have a 5 year old not sleeping or waking too early BUT technically they get enough sleep overnight, try shifting bedtime slightly later. Sleep needs do change in this age group – the 11 hours they used to have, may just not be needed any more. Therefore a 7-7:30 bedtime is meaning a 5-5:30 rise! Try shifting bedtime later to get to a more appropriate morning rise time.
Not Tired at Bedtime? Review Their Sleep Schedule
Have a 5 year old not sleeping who is also struggling to fall asleep? They may just not be tired enough. This could mean they are getting too much daytime rest or their bedtime is too early for their natural rhythm.
According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, the recommended sleep durations for children are as follows:
- Infants (4-12 months): 12-16 hours per day
- Toddlers (1-2 years): 11-14 hours per day
- Preschoolers (3-5 years): 10-13 hours per day
- School-age children (6-13 years): 9-11 hours per day
- Teenagers (14-17 years): 8-10 hours per day
For most kids, you can see how their sleep needs start to decrease by the time they’re 5 years old. Sometimes the answer is simple, they just don’t need as much sleep as they used to and they’re delaying bedtime or waking early because their sleep needs are already met.
Signs:
- They take 15 minutes+ to fall asleep.
- They resist going to bed or get up repeatedly.
Try bedtime fading to find their true sleep window, then shift slowly. A calming bedtime routine beforehand helps ease the transition. Our Bedtime Battles Course walks you through this.
Creating the Right Sleep Environment
Let’s reset. If you have a 5 year old not sleeping, your child’s sleep environment may matter more than you think. Many sleep problems come from simple disruptions to the senses. For better sleep hygiene:
- Keep the child’s room cool, quiet, and dark.
- Use blackout blinds.
- Consider white noise or soft music.
- Clear clutter to reduce overstimulation.
These changes can improve poor sleep and support a more peaceful night.
Helping Your Child Understand Sleep
Explaining the benefits of sleep in a child-friendly way can help cooperation. Talk about how:
- Sleep gives their brain time to recharge.
- Their child’s body needs rest to grow.
- Even superheroes and astronauts get tired!
Books That Help a 5 Year Old Not Sleeping
Why Do I Have to Go to Bed? – A classic that tackles toddler questions
What Is Sleep? – Fun, educational, and age-appropriate
When to Seek Medical Support
When to Consider Medical Support if you have a 5 year old not sleeping.
Some sleep difficulties may need medical input. If you have a 2 year old not sleeping but who also experiences:
- Loud snoring, gasping, or pauses in breathing (possible sleep apnoea)
- Persistent itchy eczema
- Allergies or frequent congestion affecting sleep
- Excessive night terrors or limb discomfort
…then speak with your GP.
Final Thoughts: Help Your 5 Year Old Get Enough Sleep
If you have a 5 year old not sleeping, please know sleep issues are incredibly common at this age and you’re not alone. Whether it’s bedtime battles, sleep terrors, or general sleep deprivation, the right sleep hygiene, habits, and support can help restore good night’s sleep for the whole family.
✅ Bedtime Flashcards – Build a predictable, visual bedtime routine.
✅ Bedtime Pass Kit – Reduce stalling tactics and increase independence.
✅ Bedtime Battles Course – Tackle bedtime problems from the root.
If your 5 year old is not sleeping and you feel stuck, don’t struggle alone. Many parents face the same challenges, and with a few changes, most children return to healthy, restful sleep.
Need Personalised Help?
Still struggling with your 5 year old not sleeping? Got a little one who is scared of the dark? Not settling at bedtime? Tried my tips but still experiencing issues? Need advice tailored to you? Please get in touch – I’m here to help. I offer 1:1 support to help you create a personalised plan. Book a consultation here.
